Jacob's Ladder Consciousness

I am in exile. I have pretended to be something I am not. I lied. I cheated. I took what was not mine. I flee for my life to other realms. I have a plan. I will go work for someone else, marry into their family, get a fresh start. I will put my soul in the parentheses of someone else’s endeavor.

In the night of my soul, I lay my head on stony ground. I sleep. Help comes in the form of a dream. I know I must become that dream, not let it escape, not allow it to fade.

I am a ladder reaching from this stony ground of exile to the heavens of mystery above.  Messengers, messages come down from above. “You are not alone.” “You are loved.” Tears come with a feeling of unworthiness.  I send up a message. “I am unworthy. I have exiled myself.” An instant response: “We have not exiled you. You are still in the family.”

Do I accept that? Do I continue on my stony self-sufficient way of anger and self-righteousness? Do I stand up on rebellious feet and rail at the heavens? Shall I give in and allow myself to be loved? Is this a trick?

“You are larger than you think you are,” comes the message. (I forgot momentarily that my questionings were messages ascending the ladder.) “You are meant for greater things than this self-imposed isolation and alienation.”

I pause. Speechless.

“All is forgiven and there is nothing to forgive. Come home. Go on your way while home.”

I awake. I am the ladder. Two-way communion is open. An interflow exists between the above and the below. I continue my journey, at home while walking through the land of exile.