The Mystery of Now

Let us say you are a thought system. This thought system (which you have but which you think you are) is composed of all the words, the images, and the feelings they invoke that arise within and that you seek out. Outside this thought system is the presence of your body. So now we see that you are two, a thought system and a physical system. The two co-arise. At times, one seems more dominant than the other. I prefer to say they interflow. And yet there is a Thirdness here. The thought system and the physical system interflow in Now, in the mystery of Now.

When we live in mind only or in body only or in rapid vacillation between the two, we can become an inflamed appendix on the gut of Now. What is Now? Now is as near as your breath. When you breathe into your thought system, it loosens and expands. You are more present (rather than forecasting or denying).You move outside of the parenthesis (parent - thesis) of your mind to Here. At the role call, you simply answer "Present!" You move in accord with Here. You continue living in, arising out of, this mystery of Now. Life is simple.

on the evolution of consciousness

On the evolution of consciousness: God discloses, Man disposes. God unfolds, Man cajoles. In newer language, Origin discloses, Embodying disposes. Origin unfolds, Embodying cajoles. First the revelation, then the conjecture. The discovery of three-dimensional and then four-dimensional space both occurred in this way.

yet also rising

We are the Source sourcing. We are God godding. We are the Wellspring springing. We are nailed to the cross of space and time, yet also rising from the empty tomb, scarred but fresh and new. Amen.

myth

We swim in a sea of myth. Like fish in an ocean, we may not realize we are surrounded by this water. Though it encompasses us, we take it as a given and do not look beyond its bounds. Myth is our ocean in which we swim.

Exile and return is a major theme, especially in the Bodhisattva myth, the Cosmic Hero(ine) myth. To be an enlightened being one must embark on a journey of lost and found. Dangers lurk. One may become eternally lost, in a side pocket of existence, an inflamed appendix. But it may only seem like eternity. Eventually all is recycled (an essential aspect of the Bodhisattva myth).

Myth is story. Story is real. Myth is real. So do not get all huffy when I tell you that what you believe is myth. I am not saying it is unreal. I am saying it is as real as and more real than a peanut butter sandwich. Myth is story that persists, that comes to us across time and space, beyond time and space (both of which are also mythical elements).

We live in myth, in myth story, in mythtery. We are mythic beings.

John 3:16

“For God gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

What does this mean that “God gave?” The Origin, the Source, the Mystery gave of itself, sacrificed itself, opened itself to producing this Cosmos in which we live and of which we are a part. Some call it the Big Bang, a peculiarly unpoetic term. I call it Creation. An exhaling. A breathing out of desire and want and urge. God gave.

What did God give? What did the Origin originate? What did the Wellspring spring forth?  The mythopoetic language of John says “his only begotten Son.” Traditionally, the Son is thought of as embodied in the form of Jesus. Yes, and what does this mean? Jesus said, “In my Father’s house are many mansions (or rooms).” Jesus is referring to his Cosmic Body, which is also our body when we open beyond the physical into the spiritual realm of Christ Consciousness. Not only are we part of the Cosmos unfolding, we are the Cosmos unfolding. (This is not a matter of egocentric pride, for when one falls into that, one is no longer the Cosmos unfolding but a ruptured appendix in space/time.)

Our Source breathed out, still breathes out, and gives us ourselves within and as this marvelous continuously unfolding Cosmos in which and as which we live and move. Each of us is a stream, a streaming in this unfolding Ocean. When we believe in this Flow, this Outpouring, this Springing of the Wellspring, we are believing in our larger Self.

Belief is not merely an intellectual process where one stands aside, mulls it over, sees the logic, and gives consent. No. Belief is merge, total merge. Belief is full consent and openness. Belief is full practice of becoming and being a Cosmic citizen.

When we move away from identification of ourselves as a particle and open to “full court press,” to allowing our consciousness to expand in the same way Jesus did, we identify with (become identical to) the Cosmos unfolding from the Source and we never die. As our Source (God) breathes out, we move into continuous adventure. When our Source breathes in, we return Home, ready for the next exhalation.

synthronicity: return

Synthronicity: to sit upon the same seat (the same "throne") simultaneously. This experiential understanding (not just conceptually, but directly experienced) is similar to Hafiz's depiction of he and God being like two fat people in a boat "bumping into each other and laughing." When the Source of all being and I or you sit on each other's laps simultaneously, mirth and joy erupt.

The creature sits on the lap of the Creator while the Creator sits on the lap of the creature. Simultaneously. No longer is "God" out there, but as close as and closer than our very breath. As close as simultaneous lap sitting.

This means merging while remaining separate. For how can we sit on each other's lap without remaining separate? And then again, the paradox of simultaneous lap sitting requires that the two be one. We are the Source unfolding. The Source is us embodying.

This does not occur without Awareness, capitalized because it is nonordinary awareness, beyond one's awareness of one's physical body or of one's social body. Awareness opens to direct experiencing of one's cosmic body, one's soul.

This simultaneous lap sitting of the human soul and our Origin, our Source, is a continuous occurrence, yet manifests itself more deeply and fully only when the human recognizes it. The Source is always ready. The human is distracted. 

Stagger Li

Here is a story of Exile and Return, one that goes to the depths of Hell, then ascends beyond the beyond. But I get ahead of myself. It starts with Stagger Li.

Certain Death

Like a fish that leaps from the ocean into the air and then returns to the ocean, we come out of something into the arc of here and then return to the something. Many of us call the return "death." That's it. The end. We hate and fear death. We try to abolish death. We try to make the fish stay in the air as long as possible. We make death an enemy.

On the contrary (which we are so often), we make the emergence from the something adorable and wonderful. We praise it. We call it birth. We make birth our friend.  We are for birth and against death. We are for emergence and against return.

We do not see that the process is not birth and death. It is birth-and-death. Using less emotionally laden words, it is emergence-and-return. More accurately, it is ocean-and-emergence-and-return-and-ocean. Nothing to get all shook about. 

Why do we get so upset? Attachment. Attachment to being in the air. Attachment to others being in the air. Forgetting that when we were first invited to leap from the ocean, we felt fear. We thought it was certain death.

The Slaying of Jabber

And as in uffish thought he stood,

The Jabberwok, with eyes of flame,

Cam whiffling through the tulgey wood,

And burbled as it came!

-- Lewis Carroll

A major distraction and trap for humans is the Jabberwok, the burbling chatter/jabber of the rooftop brain. In our fascination with this burbling stream, we risk being eaten alive.

Standing in offish thought, the hero/ine of Carroll's story is going nowhere. No longer on the move, no longer open to the continuous transformations of life, she stands in the tulgey wood hypnotized by the movies of her mind. Like her colleague, Br'er Rabbit and his nemesis, Tar Baby, she is fast becoming stuck in something she mistakes for Reality. 

Like a fly on fly paper, like a duck stuck in a frozen pond, like a sinning pilgrim in wooden stocks, she is on cosmic display, helplessly hoist by her own petard.

Deep in the swamp of thought, she has lost her mindful way. Up to her ass in alligators, she dreams of other lands. Caught in internal illusion, she is fair game for whoever / whatever comes by. 

And something always comes by.

The Jabberwok is preparing to eat her alive.

Jabber means "chatter; rapid, incoherent, or trivial talk; gabble, babble." This poor human stands in the midst of the tulgey wood, gabbling and babbling away in high-speed incoherency. S/he is throwing away, trivializing her existence.

Certifiably insane, on the back wards of her self-created asylum, s/he is the ideal patient: tranquillized by zombie drugs biochemically manufactured through her own whiffling, cheerfully wearing a strait jacket woven of her own cortical strands.

S/he is the Living Dead.

"One, two! One, two! And through and through

The vorpal blade went snicker - snack!"

Fortunately, s/he is not TOO far gone. S/he awakens, realizes s/he has (is) a powerfully effective weapon, and frees herself from the toothy jaws of Jabber.

The Jabberwok is slain as our hero/ine opens to Greater Awareness. This Buddh is for her. 

S/he is not entirely safe however. S/he keeps the Jabber's head. 

"He left it dead and with its head

He went galumphing back."

So we can see that s/he has not allowed full enlightenment. Galumphing along, s/he still needs some Budhi. (As the Blues Brothers sang: Every buddy needs some Budhi.) But that's okay. S/he's going back -- returning to the market place -- to show the Jabber head to others. S/he is a true buddy, an authentic buddysattva.

"He chortles in his joy," embodying the first stage or dimension of a buddysattva -- the Joyous. S/he is safely on the path. All those other stages and dimensions are bound to manifest.

S/he now lives with newfound skill.

S/he knows how to slay Jabber.

three steps

Stanley Hopper (1907-1991), teacher and friend of David Miller, who in turn is teacher and friend of Flagstaff’s very own Bradley Olson, spoke and wrote of the time we are now in as the time of the transformation of human consciousness. He described this transformation as a three step process.

The first is a step back. We step back from the dualistic thought process that has caused us so much harm with our regarding everything that is not “me” or “us” as “objects” over “there.” As objects out there, we can do anything we want to “them.” We have even killed “God” this way. This is exile. This is alienation.

The second is a step down. We step down from the throne of our ego and its self-justified arrogance and despair. We leave our encapsulated shell of protection we have created since childhood. We step down into the core of mystery at the center of our being. We stand vulnerable and open.

The third is a step through. We step through the open door at our core into new recognitions. We step into the mystery that we are. It is said, “The deep calls unto the deep.” We deepen. We hear the calling and we become the answering. 

a head on top of our head

Exile comes from clinging to a view of the world rather than opening to that-which-is-viewing.  In exile, we each cling to our view and take that view to be “reality.” Reality is much more subtle, deep, mysterious than this isolated imaginal petroglyph. We become both rock hard and stuporous in our self-enhanced view. When we find others who agree with us, we become even more attached, rigid in our envisioned melodrama. We are comforted. We may be in exile but we are in exile together. 

From what are we exiled? From the one who is viewing. We do not back up enough in this viewing process to even become aware that there is one viewing. This one has no name and, if named, becomes just another object in the view.

Our exile is produced and reinforced by our continuous internal and external chatter about who we are and who we are not, about this and about that -- an ongoing self-hypnotic state. We put a head on top of our head. We will defend this second head unto the death.

This second head we have developed and furnished since childhood with occasional tossing of furniture and redecoration is not a good or bad thing. It just is. It is part of being a human. The second head turns into a detriment, however, when we cling to it with great insistence. We are not moving on to our birth right, to an expansion of awareness, of consciousness allowing identification with, becoming, being that-which-views.

Exile is being stuck in our own head, our self-created head, this appendix of inflated presumption.  Home is when we open to the deep within, to our ever-flowing core, to the dynamic surging of being which we are. To open to the deep within and act from here.

the eternal return

Out of this moment everything rises ... and falls, appears ... and disappears. We weave reality out of this. Since we are often ignore-ant, we may not see what appears for a long long time. Since we are often clinging and attaching, we may not see that what is gone is gone.

With these favored habits of ignore-ance and attachment, we live in exile. We become stuporous clods in an ever-bubbling spring. Exile.

Out of this moment everything arises and falls. Within this moment all arises and falls. I am this arising and falling. I am this appearing and disappearing. I am this. Home.

I split myself in two. I experience longing and despair, hope, confusion, anger, reconciliation. I am this rising and falling, this seamless appearing and disappearing while living in splitness. I am at home while exiled, while exiling myself into splitness. Exiled at home.

With prayer, with centering and opening, with grace, I live as the eternal rising and falling. All is rising and falling. No remainder. Home.

Interflow

Let us say we are a circle. The circle represents our being. Allow the circle to be two hemispheres. The circle is now two 180 degree arcs, each arcing from horizon to horizon. 

One of the hemispheres represents our inner world, the other the outer. Our inner world is our soul, our spirit, our imagery, our feeling, our invisible self that we believe others cannot see. The outer world is the realm of objects, of nature, of things and people.

These two hemispheres, connected yet separate, represent the dichotomous split we generally entertain without a second thought. The inner is me; the outer is you. The inner is private; the outer is public. The inner is spirit; the outer is flesh. The inner is familiar and claimed more as my domain. The outer is somewhat alien, strange, seen as beyond my control.

Exile is when the two hemispheres are experienced as separate arcs, never to meet. 

See the arcs, the hemispheres, as different colors. Perhaps one is blue, the other red. (Allow them to be the colors that feel most natural to you.) Consider that the circle begins to revolve and is picking up momentum. The blue begins to flow into the red, the red into the blue. Each arc opens to the energies of the other. You reclaim your merge-unity.

Now allow the spinning circle to surrender and open to the Above, to move upward into merge with the Divine, with The-One-That-Births-Us. The spinning circle is now a spinning whirlwind, a vortex of horizontal (circle) energies merging with the spiraling energies of above and below. We are receiving the energies of the Divine while opening to all around us.

We are no longer divided into the inner and the outer. We are not divided at all. We are a continuous interflow. Our sense of self expands to encompass all. We are THIS. 

THIS is Home.

the journey home

In the story of The Hymn of the Soul, the voyager, the adventurer, is deliberately sent on the journey to find and recover the pearl, his own soul. Are we ourselves on such a journey? Whether any of us believe we are or not, the metaphor is striking. We are here to find and recover our own and the world’s soul. We become entranced by the soulless world, stare overlong at it, dress ourselves in its attire, take on as nourishment what it has to offer, and move into stuporous sleep.

We cannot forget our origin, however, and messages to awaken continue to call to us, to pester us in our state of zoned-out slumber. The story says that we wake up, throw off the clothes, stop eating the food of hypnosis, do not even glance at the dragon serpent that guards the pearl, that kept us from our soul ways. We recover our soul. We are strong. We are happy. We rejoice. Nothing gets in our way because our way is the way of soul.

The world soul is the way it is because our consciousness had been captured. When our consciousness changes, the world soul begins to change. As each of us awakens, the world transforms. We know what to do and we do it. We move in right relationship with all around us, with all that is. This is the journey home.

thus far

Thus far in our search for understanding the process of exile and return (believing that this process applies to us as individuals, as a society, and as a global community), we have looked at an exile story (The Hymn of the Pearl), symbols of human consciousness (Jacob’s Ladder, Caduceus, Cross, Star of David, Tao Sign), and stages of the alchemical process. 

All this merely serves as an introduction. Though a couple more exile stories can be told and a few more symbols can be added, with some benefit, we have yet to speak of the current nature of our exile and the path or unfolding of our return. Our state of consciousness as individuals and as community is seen as at the heart of this process.

As a prelude to that, I wish to look more carefully at the stories, the symbols, and the alchemical process. Valuable information is encoded there that will aid us in our struggles with our situation today and as a forecast of  our potential future. The next three sections will do so.

First up to bat will be Story.

Form and Forming

Railing against the way we are doing things is not sufficient. If we wish to DO differently, we must BE different. Consciousness change is essential. We no longer live in the world of Appearance and self thumb-sucking but as THAT WHICH IS APPEARING. Rather than identify as the Form, we open as the FORMING.

We are that which enthuses the body. We are the enthusiasm of LIFE. The enthusiasm of LIFE knows boundless JOY in its FORMING. Concentrating on the Form, on the Appearance, produces a dead scab that covers over, a sepulchre of rot.

We allow the Form to be ever-changing, a reflection of the deep and cool currents of the FORMING, of the healing, loving, joyous powers of the FORMING. All will be well. We throw in our lot with the FORMING. Then our Form becomes the Forming, becomes an effervescent everchanging Forming upon the surface of the waves of the Deep.

Not only do we “play ball on running water,” we are the running water playing ball.

Jacob's Ladder Consciousness

I am in exile. I have pretended to be something I am not. I lied. I cheated. I took what was not mine. I flee for my life to other realms. I have a plan. I will go work for someone else, marry into their family, get a fresh start. I will put my soul in the parentheses of someone else’s endeavor.

In the night of my soul, I lay my head on stony ground. I sleep. Help comes in the form of a dream. I know I must become that dream, not let it escape, not allow it to fade.

I am a ladder reaching from this stony ground of exile to the heavens of mystery above.  Messengers, messages come down from above. “You are not alone.” “You are loved.” Tears come with a feeling of unworthiness.  I send up a message. “I am unworthy. I have exiled myself.” An instant response: “We have not exiled you. You are still in the family.”

Do I accept that? Do I continue on my stony self-sufficient way of anger and self-righteousness? Do I stand up on rebellious feet and rail at the heavens? Shall I give in and allow myself to be loved? Is this a trick?

“You are larger than you think you are,” comes the message. (I forgot momentarily that my questionings were messages ascending the ladder.) “You are meant for greater things than this self-imposed isolation and alienation.”

I pause. Speechless.

“All is forgiven and there is nothing to forgive. Come home. Go on your way while home.”

I awake. I am the ladder. Two-way communion is open. An interflow exists between the above and the below. I continue my journey, at home while walking through the land of exile.

The Tai Chi (Tao Symbol)

The Tai Chi (Tao Symbol)

Before the beginning of Time, there was only the Wu Chi, the Empty Circle, the Circle With No Circumference, That Which Had No Bounds. The Wu Chi gave birth to the Tai Chi, the Interflow Of All Opposites.

The two-legged stance of dualism, of this versus that, of all opposition, seen in the Ladder, the Caduceus, the Cross, the Star of David is now solved in a different way. Each of the opposed contains the other and interswirls, interflows in an ongoing rhythm.

Duality and opposition are respected but are in non-conflictual relationship. The two “fish” of the Tai Chi move with swift dynamic energetic hum, interdependent while remaining independent, no sparks flying from collision. The practicality of this Way (Tao) has been shown in the martial arts, in dance, in harmonious interflow within one’s own being. This is the way of ease.

Only when in dis-ease do we move into conflict, into destructive slambang. We do this with the lifting of an eyebrow, the slightest voice tone change, the assuming of a bodily stance, a posture. This is the way of exile, the way of fear and anger, the way of death.

The Tai Chi plainly shows the formula for moving out of exile, returning home. We become the Tai Chi. We reconcile all opposites within ourselves. We accept them, are not captivated by them, move with them. “They” are no longer “them.” “They” are us and we are “them.”

This is not a giving in. This is stepping forward, eternally stepping forward into this eternal Now. We ARE this. We are this interflow. All that is met is us. We step out of the trance of separation and into the dance of being. No trancing. Only dancing.

Star of David

The Star of David

Once again we have a symbol of the heavenly and the earthly energies meeting, intertwining. The Star of David can be seen as a more direct, barebones representation of these energies than is Jacob’s Ladder or the Caduceus. 

The upward pointing triangle is a symbol of the earthly energies opening to the heavenly; a strong earthly or material base opening to the heavenly or divine. The downward pointing triangle with its strong base in the heavenly or divine is a representation of the light filled energies of the Above which continually infuse us. 

Thus we are a mixture of the earthly desire for the heavenly and of the heavenly love for the earthly. 

The Star of David shows an equal balance of these two energies: the triangles are the same size and mutually overlap or merge; an upwardly striving desire and groaning for redemption out of dense matter and a downward outpouring of compassion, wisdom, and understanding. 

(Notice also the two "hourglasses" on each side of the symbol. They represent the dualistic nature of humankind, similar to the two upward twining serpents in the caduceus. We will also come across this dualism when we look at the Tao Sign, and even more so in the Kabbalah and The Wheel of Keen Weapons.)

When we ourselves embody the qualities of both large triangles, when we are solidly based on earth as earthly beings while infusing ourselves and all around us with compassion, wisdom, and understanding, we and the symbol become transparent to each other, diaphanous, as one.

We are the Star of David.

Interlude

The symbols of the Ladder, the Caduceus, and the Cross show us the means of climbing out of total identification with the physical body into the more refined realms from which we came, from denseness into light. Our exile of consciousness, of psyche, of soul need not be. Instruction is available for our return, for our awaking from our sleep, retrieving the Pearl of Great Price and returning home. 

Experiencing ourselves as Ladder reveals that continuous communication, communion with our Source, is available. Angels or messengers of information and understanding move up and down within our essence. Our practice is to open to that continuous flow, to go out of our self-chatter, out of our fear, out of our desire to fit in the social matrix, and to listen and to see.

Experiencing ourselves as Caduceus, we follow the healing transformation upward by attending to and opening the energy centers we are, especially the heart and the crown, though all energy wheels require opening for us to be a fully functioning Caduceus, a wand of healing and restoration.

The Cross gives us a different understanding of who we are. We are a wounded but open heart living in two realms: the horizontal of the social matrix and the vertical of grounded existence, the earth being that is open to the vastness of the heavenly.

We are a Ladder, a Caduceus, a Cross. The ladder points to our meditational or prayer practice, the caduceus to our healing, and the cross to our mode of being in the world. We practice becoming the ladder, becoming the caduceus, becoming the cross. These are our vehicles of transportation for moving from exile to return.

caduceus

The Caduceus

The prototype of Christ on a cross is the serpent raised up on a pole so that all who had been bitten could look upon it and be healed (Numbers 21: 8). The serpent was thus viewed as both the cause of the mortal illness and its cure. We see a progression here from the view that the serpent is a representation of evil to its symbol as a cure. The caduceus further amplifies this understanding in its portrayal of a wand of healing with two serpents intertwined. The pole with one snake becomes a pole with two snakes.

The transformative powers of healing are symbolized by a snake because of its capability (and necessity) of shedding its skin. As it grows, it leaves its old skin behind and becomes new. 

The caduceus is also a depiction of the human energy body. The pole is the spinal column, the location of the Line of Light that extends to infinity “above” and to infinity “below.” The intertwining serpents are the twin energies that move from the base of the spine to the crown of the head. The energies do not go straight up but move from one side of the body to the other as they go. The locations of their crossing each other are known as specific wheels (chakras) of energy that are crucial for human health, healing, and transformation. 

The necessity of opening and embodying these wheels of energy is known by practitioners of the martial, healing and spiritual arts (all three arts are relationship arts and use the same principles). For example, all three arts know the importance of centering in the spot just below the navel and deep inside, known in the martial arts as the tantien or hara. After centering, one opens the energies of the heart and of the head. The heart, head, and hara interflow creating one brain, one awareness.  

As the caduceus indicates, there is also an energy center above the crown of the head. The activation of this center has been shown in paintings as a halo. The nimbus, or full body aura, occurs with the activation of all energy centers. Energy flows up and down the physical and subtle body simultaneously, “angels ascending and descending.” (In Ladder terminology, the two serpents are the rails and their places of intersection are the rungs.)

Further understanding of all the caduceus portrays occurs when it is viewed three-dimensionally and seen as the double helix of the DNA spiral.

cross

The Cross

As a symbol, the Cross is similar to the Ladder in its form but different in its meaning. Formwise, the Cross is a Ladder without the side railings and with only one rung. Also the Cross is firmly embedded in the ground, upon which the Ladder only rests. 

As you may recall, the rails of the Ladder are considered to represent the duality of human existence, the twoness of our logic and thinking capability. Things are either this way or that way but not both ways at once. The Cross has no such dichotomous split. 

The Cross has only one rail, anchored into the ground of existence and reaching to heavenly openness. No angel messengers are ascending and descending. The Cross is the messenger itself. Its one rung is at the heart level of the human body. 

While in bodily form, we are nailed to the Cross of existence. We are firmly planted in this Ground of Being with hearts wide open as symbolized by the heart rung with its arms outstretched. Vulnerable. Open. Suffering occurs here. 

The Cross is like an arrow shot into the earth by the Above. As such, it has lost direct connection with the Divine. The vertical channel of communication, of communion, of energy flow transforms into a spherical sonar that echoes from the heart, reverberating outward in all directions: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” 

The Cross is a symbol of bearing all things while giving one’s all.    

jacob's ladder

The Ladder (Part Two)

In Jacob’s dream, the body consciousness has been laid down. The psyche or soul consciousness is open and describes itself using body consciousness imagery: a ladder with its base or feet on the ground and its apex or head in the sky; angels (messengers) are going up and coming down. We see that the soul, our innermost being, is both a channel (ladder ) of communication and the communication itself. 

Messengers with their messages are continually going and coming. The communication is two-way. “Those who know themselves know their Lord” is an age-old understanding. How is this so? Openness of one’s soul (capaciousness) allows the free flow of Energy (Wisdom, Knowledge, Love) that is always already present. We know as we are known. The One who breathes us is closer than our very breath.

A temptation is to go higher and pull up the ladder after one. That will come soon enough. For now, we walk the earth with heavenly blessings, a “ladder” on the move.

What are the rails of this ladder and its rungs? (We will come across this imagery again with the caduceus and, to some extent with the cross.) The two rails of the ladder are our own dualistic nature and the duality of the world in which we live (me - you, us - them, good - bad, right - wrong).

Our own bodily form is dualistic in nature. We see this in the sayings  “on the one hand and on the other hand” and “put your best foot forward.” Our right side and our left side are the rails of the ladder we are. The center line (the “Line of Light” it is sometimes called) is made up of the “rungs” allowing the communication flow of relationship between the Below and the Above. 

At times we may get stuck on one rung, at one particular energy site, but for full functioning as a human, we must have all systems open at once. Opening the heart seems most effective here.

Angels of energy ascend and descend. We are continuously being exiled and returning. We are envoys from a far off space which is right  here, right now as long as we stay in contact, keep our ladder open.

The Ladder (Part One)

“And Jacob went out from Beersheba, and went toward Haran. And he lighted upon a certain place, and tarried there all night, because the sun was set; and he took of the stones of that place, and put them for his pillows, and lay down in that place to sleep. And he dreamed, and behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven: and behold the angels of God ascending and descending on it.” (Genesis 28: 10 -12)

One of the earliest symbols of transformation of human consciousness, Jacob’s Ladder portrays an opening of communication between the hidden and the manifest, the above and the below, the cosmic and the earthbound, the divine and the human.

Jacob exists in the story in two states of consciousness. One , a denser realm where he is supposedly awake; a realm for hauling his body from there to here, a body that has to stop and rest, a body that won’t go on in the dark. The other state of consciousness is a lighter, more energetic realm where he is supposedly asleep.

Yeats wrote of being “fastened to a dying animal.” One of our states of consciousness is dying animal consciousness. We know that we are terminal. We love the animal we are. We look to treat it well. We feed it , house it, clothe it, enjoy its sexuality and sensuality, show it off, take it for walks and runs, bathe it and pamper it, push it to its limits and beyond, drug it, dance it, train it, and laugh and weep at its peculiarities.

Who is the “we” in that last paragraph? What is that aspect of Yeats that is aware of being fastened to a dying animal? Whatever name we put on it (ego, mind, psyche, soul), it is a gateway to the ladder realm. It is that in the story that is aware (dreaming) of a realm not seen by physical eyes, not seen  by the dying animal consciousness, but seen by what Henry Corbin called “eyes of fire.”

Experiencing the "Stepping Down" of God

Energy that can overwhelm, blow out all circuits in its raw elemental power, seen for example in a lighting bolt, must be "stepped down." This stepping down process allows the Elemental Energy to be felt, to be embodied in more gentle form.

Over time, specific symbols and symbologies have been created by experiencers of this process. The symbols can be looked at, viewed intellectually as if "out there," objects to be understood. Cold detachment, however, profits little and results in dusty artifices stored on museum shelves as spiritual oddities.

The best way, the most energizing way, to know these symbols and symbologies is to experience them, to become them, to see through them., through their transparency into the Heart of the Living God, the Source and Sourcing of all Being, the One Who Breathes Us, the One who brings us here and who takes us home (to paraphrase Rumi). The stepping down process in this way results in Merge. (Merge =  m-erg-e, "me" with a unit of power, of energetic force, "erg," vibrating within.)

Each symbol or symbology is a potential transformer of the essence of one's being; potential because unless one tries it on, becomes it, sees through it (about which more later), clothes oneself in its raiment, surrenders to it, no transformation occurs.

These symbols represent a powerful process, the alchemical transformation of our being from lead into pure gold. Rather than being a separate wanderer in the night, one becomes an active participant in the Cosmos, a sourcing of the Source, a child of God.

Some of the symbols of transformation that have proved so powerful over time are the Ladder, the Star of David, the Cross, the Tao Sign, and the Caduceus. One of the symbologies (grouping of symbols) is the Kabbalah. Each will be explored.

SECTION III

SYMBOLS AND SYMBOLOGIES OF TRANSFORMATION

self-imposed exile

We exile ourselves. How do we do this? We take our inner nature of fire and heat and light and joy and rather than radiate outward with no capable obstacle, we turn that streaming of energy back on our selves and become an ingrown hair, an ingroan heir who no longer receives, or is, the birth right of the radiance of the cosmic splendor that is truly us. Out of fear, anger, malice, self righteousness, we develop a dense inertia and drown ourselves in waters of indulgence, pity, and scorn. A self-imposed, self-generated hell. Exile.

We shake loose, rise again and open to the eternal flame, the fire of upward spiraling spirit and once again allow the generating of radiant light and eternal joy. Home.

coniunctio

transcendent merge

coniunctio (transcendent merge)

All doubts have flown. All opposites happen simultaneously, coincide. A symbol for this is the caduceus, the wand of healing embodying the interflow of all opposites, of all opposition. The Tree of Life of the Kabbalah shows a similar resolution, reconciliation. The alchemical process is complete. The philosopher's stone, the gold, is here.

refusal to follow your destiny: jonah

In one of those psychological free association tests, if “Jonah” is said, most folk would respond “whale.”

And if queried, they might say that back in the days when God spoke to folk (and God still does except we are often making too much noise to hear), God told Jonah to go do something and he refused so God put him in solitary confinement inside the belly of a whale until he changed his mind.

So that’s the general understanding of Jonah, kind of a Walt Disney version. Everything turns out okay because Jonah obeyed the Great Parent In The Sky and ate his broccoli like a good boy.

Well….. The story is not exactly like that. It's more about a partnership than a parent.

You see, Jonah was a prophet and he and God had a deal. They understood each other pretty well. Most folk were too busy making a living and partying to pay any attention to God at all, but they would listen, at least for a moment, to another human who got in their face.

Jonah was God’s face man.

So one day God told Jonah, Things are getting out of hand with this human society and the hot spot of it all is over there in Nineveh: violence and lying and greed and such.

Go tell them to change their ways or they are headed for a sure downfall. They are calling down destruction on their own heads. So I’ll answer their prayers and oblige them.

Jonah got really mad. He wanted to see the bozos zapped. He didn’t want to give them a chance. He knew that if they saw the light, mended their ways, had an orthogonal turning of their minds and hearts and souls, God would forgive them and bless them on their way.

So he took off, went on the lam, refused to go. And the whole “whale” thing happened. Then Jonah walked over to Nineveh and told them.

And Jonah was right. Human society changed its ways and got off scot free. God forgave them. So here is where the worm comes in. Jonah got pissed, told God I told you so, said he might as well die.

After pitching his fit, Jonah built himself a little shelter outside society and sat down to see if the people might still screw up and get zapped. God and Jonah were still buddies, so God made a lovely gourd vine grow, shading Jonah with its large green leaves. And Jonah liked it and was happy.

The next day God allowed this worm to come and eat the plant, which withered and died. And Jonah just gave up. God asked, “Are you so deeply grieved about the plant?” Jonah: “Yes, so deeply grieved I want to die.”

“Hmmm…. That’s the way I feel about people,” said God. So rumor has it that God and Jonah are still in business. But now when they grieve, they grieve together.

samuel

Exile comes with our birth as humans. Even if we are born in the most auspicious place and surrounds, we do not remember our homeland. We have to be taught. 

Samuel was a little boy who served in the temple, the very temple that contained the Ark of the Covenant. Eli, the old priest, was his teacher. We are told that in that time, “the word of the Lord was rare, prophecy was not widespread.”

One night when both Samuel and Eli were asleep, “the Lord called out to Samuel,” called him by his name. Samuel, thinking it was Eli, said “I’m coming.” He jumped up and ran to where Eli was sleeping and said “Here I am.” Eli said, “I didn’t call you, go back to bed.”

This happened again. The Lord called. Samuel got out of bed to see what Eli wanted. Eli sent him back to bed.

The third time, Eli caught on. He said, the Lord is calling you. If he calls you again, say “Speak, Lord, for Your servant is listening.”

The fourth time, Samuel stayed where he was and when called, continued the conversation. He was given a message and asked to pass it on.

My point in telling this story is to emphasize that after we are born from the Hidden to the Appearance, we forget that the Hidden can speak. We have to be reminded (re-mind: to give a mind once again). We have to be taught.

It may take four times or more but the Hidden is patient. 

the apparent and the hidden

Exile and return presupposes a homeland, a place of origin, a birth location.  All that is apparent, that is in the world of appearance, available to the physical senses, has its roots in the Hidden, our Source.

When we live in the apparent, exclusively or predominately, excluding awareness of the Hidden, we are in exile. Our consciousness state is limited, of narrow focus. We are an island of exclusion in a vast ocean.

We may be born “trailing clouds of glory” but those clouds may be quickly dispelled and we fall into ignorance, ignore-ance of all but the apparent world. We do not realize who we are. We self-deceive. We low-rate our selves. Then puff ourselves up by whatever means we find.

We may have a vague understanding that we are in exile, “strangers in a strange land,” but we throw that aside and begin to “make” a living. We forget our birth place, our place of origin. We trade our birthright for a bowl of porridge.

We keep our attention entertained with news, with Facebook, with work, with our children, with our daily lists of activity. We forget the pearl of great price, our soul. We dress in the accepted clothing. We feast only on the food of the apparent, ignoring the nourishment of the Hidden.

We fall asleep. We forget who we are and for what we came.

separatio

Dividing the cosmic egg

separatio

With ordinary consciousness, we divide the world into parts, into oppositions (me - you, us - them, good - bad, potatoes - eggs, birds - fish, etc.). We ourselves are of three parts: senses, intellect, visionary imagination. The senses and the intellect operate on division and opposition. Within both realms, we make ourselves the subject and all else is object. We do not realize that what we see "out there" is also us. We do not realize that we cannot see what we are not.

The path followed in the transformation of consciousness is the path beyond division, the path of the active imagination, of vision and symbol. (A symbol is an open door through which one steps into a new and higher world.) In embodying all three realms, we live in the interflow while separate and distinct. The visionary sees that all is in flux and lives accordingly. The higher vision is followed rather than the divisive world of intellect and sensation. The divisive is subsumed in the higher. 

Our centering makes use of both right and left, both high and low. The moving beyond oppositional disorder (which paradoxically was designed to create order) allows the galeropic process: clear and cheerful vision.

mortificatio (death)

mortificatio (death)

We are left. Alone. With no one. Even the very God we have always served is nowhere to be found.

Darkness. Nowhere to turn and no turning. Frozen in silent immovability. Anguish of the soul. We cry out. Not even an echo.

The dark night of the soul, when all forsakes and all is forsaken. The only comfort is the suffering. The old is burned away by this dark fire. Death preseeds all resurrection.

The phoenix arises from the ashes. Christ tosses away the grave clothes. And you, even you, will come to life again. No staying in the old corpse which putrefies and dies.

Seven times down, eight times up is the old saying. Death followed by rebirth. Exile followed by return.

sublimatio

Incorporation of duality, rising to higher realms

sublimatio (air)

We open to the sublime, to our subtle body. A ladder is often used as a symbol of this process (i.e., Jacob’s Ladder, where angels ascend and descend).

Consider the backbone, the spine as this ladder. The alchemical process is represented here. The ladder begins with the base, the muck, the lead to be transformed into gold. We move from the anus to the angelic.

The chakras (wheels of energy) can be considered as rungs on the ladder. We climb up by identifying with, opening to each chakra. We reach the crown and exist in the Above, the cosmic air of wellbeing.

We do not abdicate our stance on Earth. As above, so below. New energies flow into our being. Angels descend and ascend. Our head is in the air and our feet firmly grounding.

We are new creation. We are born of water and the spirit. We are earth and air and water and fire. Radiant. Sublime.

coagulatio (earth)

The eagle is chained to the toad.

coagulatio (earth)

We are this earthen lump. We are the life force materializing. We are the offspring of the Cosmos nailed to the spot, to this space-time cross of existence.

We are Spirit embodying.

We carry the torch as best we can. We stumble and fall. We help each other.

We are Earth walking.

We are mud and slime and clay. Hard rock, magma, and diamond.

We are slow moving melancholic sludge. If we stay in this condition, the alchemical experiment has failed. No gold.

We rise up, move in surprising ways, strong, light, delicate, quick stepping. No mud zombies here. Advance explorers from an unseen realm, we infuse our coagulation with life.

solutio (water)

solutio (water)

An essential phase in the alchemical process of transforming lead into gold is termed solutio. We cannot go out of the leaden self we have created for ourselves unless we return to home base.

Solutio (solution) is spoken of as a drowning, a dissolving of the separative Frankensteinian creature we have put together, with a little help from friends and family. If we wish to transform, we have to dissolve what we have made of ourselves in the flux, the flow of the ongoing.

Attachment to who we think we are is released. We no longer cling to this toothpick hoping it will keep us afloat in the mighty ocean of being and becoming.

But it is my salvation, we cry! And it is not a toothpick, it is my life raft. I have fixed it up so nicely. I want it to continue forever. I even have a nice insurance policy saying that when my body drops, my life raft will continue and I will keep it afloat in calmer, more heavenly realms.

Cling, cling, cling goes the folly. The dictation of terms to life creates a hell.

To cling is to become a failed alchemical experiment. Nothing of value is produced. No gold.

Bruce Lee had it right: “Be like water, my friend.” The solution is the solution.

Transformation

As you can see, I have added to the title of this book. It went from "Exile and Return" to "Exile and Return: The Transformation of the World." The book has expanded its vision and solidified its focus.

There is no need to outline the problems we face on Earth today. We hear about them so much we become numb to them. I have written of them in my “Letters to the Yet Unborn.”

Instead I wish to focus on a solution. That’s right. Not solutions. A solution. Here it is: When you change yourself, you change the world. We change the world one by one.

What are we changing? Our consciousness. When our consciousness moves to a different realm, those around us are affected. We are spheres of influence. As we transform, so does the world around us.

I speak not here of a nicer tidier form of ego consciousness, a sweeter, more endearing you. I speak of a transformation of consciousness that will shake you to your core leaving the shattered shards of the old fearful angry anxious you far behind.

The practical methods for doing so are available. It is time the human species achieved new birth. Let’s do it. With new consciousness comes new action.

Bear with me as I write this book online. Read each section as it appears. Read deeply and apply its resonance to your own transformation. No one can do it for you. You transform yourself. Willing help, however, comes from perhaps unexpected sources.

calcinatio

The Fire Sower (E. Jacoby)

calcinatio

Fire. The heat, the hotness, the burning of fire. All temporary shelter erected as protection and defense  is burned. That which will not last is obliterated. Illusion is destroyed. Only the pure remains, the fire itself that burns within your heart. You are the alchemical furnace in which gold is being made. 

The three were told to bow to the king. "We bow only to the one who forms us." "We'll see about that," said the king. He had them thrown into a furnace so hot it killed the ones who threw them in. The king stood back and looked. The three were walking around in there and a fourth was with them. 

We go through the fires of our life. We are not destroyed, but transformed. A new element is added to our mind-body-soul trinity. An element that was there all along. Spirit. The Life Force. 

They told me the barn had caught fire and burned. It contained all my stuff I had moved from the house of a failed marriage. My stuff was gone. I laughed. Unencumbered. Transformed. Spirit. 

The fires of purification, of transformation.

the alchemy of return

We can speak of two consciousness worlds: the Subjective and the Objective. The latter is a subset of the former. The subjective consciousness divides its awareness into parts, into objects. These objects, once discerned, are considered to be “out there.” We, the object makers, the splitters of a continuous interflow into discrete parts, are considered to be “over here” or “in here.” We stand “against” the object world. Now we can do business. But if not careful, we will lose our soul.

Alchemy is a transformative process thought by those who like to stand solely (or soullessly) in the object world, and deny or look to overcome their subjectivity, as an amusing predilection of our oh-so-wrong ancestors which had no value except to lead to “modern” chemistry.

Objectivity is another form of exile. What is of great value is spurned. Objectivity can sleep beside the pearl of great price and dream only of its keeper.

As Carl Jung so successfully pointed out, true alchemy is not performed in the objective world. The lead or “base material” that is taken through a distinct process and transformed into gold refers to us, to each of us on our journey to individuation, to becoming who we truly are.

In this section of “Exile and Return,” we will take a look at the alchemical process of refining, purifying our own essence, of turning our leaden consciousness into more golden Awareness, of emerging from the exile of separation into a cosmos and consciousness of participation.

SECTION II

THE ALCHEMY OF RETURN

Interlude

If there were no problem, there would be no problem.

Problem, at its root, means to throw (ballein) before (pro). If we did not throw something before us, there would be nothing thrown before us. No problem, as is said today instead of you are welcome.

No problem. There is nothing thrown before us or between us. There is nothing in our way. No thing. Not a thing.

If there were no problem, there would be no problem. When we throw nothing before us, “in front” of us, there is nothing thrown before us. Nothing we have thrown in our way to derail us, to throw us off our (imagined) track.

But I want to get this done, you say. Well do it. No problem.

But can I not imagine the future? Of course. Imagine all you want. Understand this is a form of self hypnosis. You are the one sitting here. The one. The one dividing itself up into problematic fragments.

But isn’t our (Western) civilization built on problem solving? Yes. Look at it. Everything is a problem that must be solved. We say we are making progress. There is no progress without problems. The more progress we make the more problems there are.

I speak not here of Western civilization, another problem we throw before us. I speak of me, of you. How can we live without our problems? How can we not continue throwing something before us? Through open Awareness here now. Through open heart-mind.

We do not put ourselves in exile. We are here. We know what to do. Actions unfold out of here, always out of here. No problem. Unless we want to make a problem, which of course is our precise addiction.

love leading and drawing onward

For at times the royal garment of silk shone before mine eyes, and with love leading me and drawing me onward. But I remembered not the brightness of it; for I was yet a child and very young when I had left it in the palace of my Father, but suddenly, I saw the garment made like unto me as it had been in a mirror. And I saw it wholly in myself and I knew and saw myself through it, that we were divided asunder, being of one; and again were one in one shape.

The exile is over. Now clothed in love and light, he is headed home. What is the pearl s/he (gender is irrelevant here) is bringing home? His own soul enlivened, made new, taken from the torpor and inertia of an unawakened life. Before the journey, he did not know who he was. He was a babe in the cosmic womb. He needed a fall. He needed to go down to know what up truly was. Down and up: spiritual isometrics. A necessary workout for spiritual muscle. This was arranged for him. It is arranged for everyone. We must walk the path. Walking is controlled falling. Keeping balance while on the move. Love leading and drawing onward. Exile and return.

on the way

And I stripped off the filthy garment and left it in their land, and directed my way forthwith to the light of my fatherland in the East. And on the way I found my letter that had awakened me, and it, like as it had taken a voice and raised me when I slept, so also guided me with the light that came from it.

By attending to the pearl, I saw the serpent had no power except what I gave him. I no longer paid him any heed. I saw then the state of filth into which I had fallen, threw it off, left it behind. I turned toward the light and went on my way. The light of the letter kept me on course, resonant with the light from home.

Facing and Dealing

And I at the voice of it and the feeling of it started up out of sleep and I took it up and kissed it and read it. And it was written concerning that which was recorded in mine heart.

And I remembered forthwith that I was a son of kings, and my freedom yearned after its kind. I remembered also the pearl for the which I was sent down into Egypt and I began with charms against the terrible serpent, and I overcame him by naming the name of my Father upon him. I caught away the pearl and turned back to bear it unto my fathers.

With the message from above by those who care, I awaken. The message awoke what I knew was true, already inscribed in my heart. My fear of the alien land went away. I faced the serpent that guarded the pearl and overcame him by opening to my true nature. I was and am a child of the King, the Source of All that Is.

I took the pearl and turned away, my face toward home.

The Letter

From the Father the King of kings, and thy mother that ruleth the East, and thy brother that is second unto us; unto our son that is in Egypt, peace. Rise up and awake out of sleep, and hearken unto the words of the letter and remember that thou art a son of kings; lo, thou hast come under the yoke of bondage. Remember the pearl for the which thou wast sent into Egypt. Remember thy garment spangled with gold. Thy name is named in the book of life, and with thy brother whom thou hast received thou shall be in our kingdom. 
It flew and lighted down by me, and became all speech.

My spiritual kin did not abandon me, did not leave me for dead in an alien land. They composed a message to me, sealed it, and sent it on its way. The letter assumed the form of a mighty Eagle, flew down beside me where I lay in torpid sleep, and began to speak.

A Resolve Was Made

But when this befell me, my fathers also were ware of it, and grieved for me and a proclamation was published in our kingdom, that all should meet at our doors. And then the kings of Parthia and they that bare office and the great ones of the East made a resolve concerning me, that I should not be left in Egypt, and the princes wrote unto me signifying thus and every noble signed his name to it.

Though my soul was numb, I had forgotten my mission, and through my actions had sworn allegiance to an alien king, my true kin had not forgotten me. They were aware. Their consciousness was inclusive of mine, but not mine of theirs. 

I was a bud not yet flowering, held in icy sleep of a winter of the soul. The Source from which I came decided to send some warmth my way. Action was taken.

Lost

And I put on their raiment, lest I should seem strange, as one that had come from without to recover the pearl; and lest the Egyptians should awake the serpent against me. But, I know not by what occasion, they learned that I was not of their country. And with guile they mingled for me a deceit, and I tasted of their food. And I knew no more that I was a king's son, and I became a servant unto their king. And I forgot also the pearl for which my fathers had sent me, and by means of the heaviness of their food I fell into a deep sleep.

I, of course, had my reasons for betraying my true self. My justifications. My excuses. Others might think that I had to recover the pearl. I could not stand up and say I was doing so. I was afraid they would wake the serpent. I did not know that now the serpent was awake within me. He was already doing a good job of guarding the pearl. 

I blame it all on them, on the people around me. I say they deceived me but I deceived myself. I ate their food. Now I had not only their external appearance but internally as well. I had become them. I forgot the pearl. I forgot my mission. I forgot my ancestors. I became a walker in my sleep. A virtual zombie. Like all others around me.

alienation

And I set forth by the quickest way to the serpent, and by his hole I abode watching for him to slumber and sleep, that I might take my pearl from him. And forasmuch as I was alone I made mine aspect strange, and appeared as an alien to my people.

I go about my business. But I make my first mistake. I go directly to the serpent rather than directly to the pearl. My eyes are fixed on him and not the pearl. I sit by HIS hole. I wait for HIM to sleep. I want to take the pearl from HIM.  I would learn later, through the trials of experience, that whatever I attend to, I become. I watched him carefully.

Rather than be who I am, a child of the Source with Goodness and Mercy in my heart, I changed my appearance. My second mistake. I camouflaged myself to fit in. My true kin would not recognize me as that which I was becoming.

Later I would learn that these "mistakes" were part of the journey of going "down." I went through the metamorphosis of becoming all things. Excruciating. On the space-time cross of existence. I would need the pearl to see me through. 

On the Road

And I came out of the East by a road difficult and fearful, with two guides and I was untried in travelling by it. But when I entered into Egypt, the guides left me which had journeyed with me.

Two guides came with me to show me the way. Strong and knowledgable, they showed me the way while walking beside me, keeping me company so though the path was fearful, I knew no fear. My mentors, they knew I knew nothing. Their names are Goodness and Mercy.

When we reached our destination, they left me. I had to complete the journey on my own. I had learned their ways, however, and their influence stayed with me, deep within my heart. 

personal note (safe landing)

I landed safely, in the womb of a 17 year old girl just out of high school. She was an innocent as was I. We each would find our way through Egypt.

She gave me warmth and comfort. She gave me her milk. She gave me the smell of wet and then sun-dried clothes as I sat in the grass and watched her work the clothes pins. She gave me security. Later she taught me the difference between d and b. I learned to read early.

She taught me to pray for everyone every night. She taught me to end these prayers with "Guide me through the starry night" instead of "If i should die before I wake."

I loved her and I love her still.

Mission

"If thou go down into Egypt, and bring back thence the one pearl which is there (in the midst of the sea) girt about by the devouring serpent thou shalt put on again the garment set with gems, and that robe which is thereon and become with thy brother that is next unto us an heir in our kingdom."

Great adventure! I am excited. I have a mission, a purpose. Only later will I understand what "down" means. At this moment I see only that it is a direction. I do not realize that it is also a state of being. How could I? I have never been "down" before. I did not realize that my current state of complete nurturance was a continuous state of "up."

Egypt? Some strange land which contained a pearl guarded by a serpent. Devouring? What did the serpent eat?

All I had to do was get the pearl and come back. Piece of cake! After all my brother had done it. I would prove myself. Then I would get a hero's welcome and take my rightful place as an heir in the kingdom.

I did not know what I was getting into.

Covenant

"And they made a covenant with me, and inscribed it on mine understanding, that I should not forget it, and said:"

They care for me. They do not send me on my journey without the embedded understanding of my Origin. This understanding is produced by a covenant, a meeting and merging of our minds. An agreement. We are agreeable to and with each other and shall always be. 

They knew what I would face. The covenant I would take with me was not written on a document external to me or at my periphery, but was inscribed, written deep within me, tattooed within the depth of my being, at the core of my soul. 

I may become distracted or entranced by the seductions and hazards of my journey but my agreement is here, indelible, speaking to me, letting me know from whence I came and my mission and my purpose.